how strange it is.
how far have i gone ?
the swish of the sand and the arid deserts
it's still haunting me.
look over there!
a girl with short hair and blank face over there.
she keeps pointing me,
what have i done to her ?
am i a bad person for her ?
i don't know. i don't know.
people keep asking me who is she.
people keep asking me 'are you alright?'
people keep asking me 'how's your life going?'
people keep asking me, a same question over and over.
that girl with a same face keeps her eyes on me.
and right now, she sits right in front of me.
in a nice couch and with a dim of a light.
she's crying,
she's curled up hugging her own knees.
she keeps rubbing her eyes with her over sized flannel.
she shouted inside the blanket,
and i don't know when there is a blanket over there. watching her like that,
completely making me disgusting and pity for herself.
i don't want to approach her.
until she sits and she's gone.
people keep asking me 'are you alright?'
people keep asking me 'how's your life going?'
people keep asking me, a same question over and over.
I saw the sea.
I softly sighed and smiled.
the sand felt warmer and a little bit wet.
the water is cold enough, but it's blue.
May be in the dessert I can't get enough water to drink.
but same here, I can't drink the water because it salty.
I drink it and it makes my throat feel worse.
I saw her with a same blank face.
I sighed and smiled.
it is just same.
but with different name.
people keep asking me 'are you alright?'
she asking me 'are you alright?'
people keep asking me 'how's your life going?'
she asking me 'how's your life going?'
people keep asking me, a same question over and over.
she asking me 'are you happy?'
"i don't know but let's find out."
dear myself,
thank you for stay
thank you for your faith in me.
i know it's just same and getting worse and hard.
but i know you'll always be there.
being my number one support system.
dear myself,
sorry for hurting you.
i love you.
-sean's
00.55 am
29/05/2019
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